My thoughts are also turning to some of those hurting.
Nate Livingston's blog is the scene of a lot of dialogue on the Kabaka Oba shooting. There were some commentors who don't care about Oba or the violence in OTR and have a "let it burn" philosophy. I responded over at his site, "To the last Anon, advising people to stay out of OTR and leave it to the "miscreants and the morally destitute"
Wow, you're a fool. Do you really believe you are disconnected from the lives of the poor and the broken? Where do you think your suburban neighbors go to buy drugs and rent flesh? Do you really think the suburban shell can thrive if the city's heart decays?
The drug supply is only there to meet the demand of a suburban market. The guns are only there because of the culture of violence that our nation has embraced.
Take some responsibility. As you're firing up the grill behind your white picket fence you're ignoring your role in healing the city's collective illness."
The Palmers
Amy Palmer's entries are also ones to meditate on. She's posting on her grief and the recent loss of her husband, Mark. I don't really know the Palmer family, but I know a lot of people who love them. I have to say that even as someone who is a stranger in many ways to her, I really feel for what she's going through.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
The birds are up and so am I
It's just past five in the morning (or two am San Francisco time) and I just got out of the shower and am dressed. I forgot my towel, but it wasn't as much of a pain since it's pretty warm right now. (our days are almost hitting 80 degrees)
I mentioned SF because last night I dreamed of our new friends there and I suppose they're dreaming now. I don't recall the content, but I think I'll call a couple of them today and make contact.
I finished my 2005 financials and I have to get 2004, 2003 and 2002 done now and the taxes. This is a hole I'll not soon dig for myself again.
Steve
I mentioned SF because last night I dreamed of our new friends there and I suppose they're dreaming now. I don't recall the content, but I think I'll call a couple of them today and make contact.
I finished my 2005 financials and I have to get 2004, 2003 and 2002 done now and the taxes. This is a hole I'll not soon dig for myself again.
Steve
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The disease of addiction
Beck and I attended family night tonight at the WRAP House - the residential treatment program that Molly's in - and that was a major theme. A lady spoke about her son Casey, who died because of his Heroine addiction. She said that it's just not treated as a serious disease and implied that this contributed to his death. I agree.
I wonder if the family member I mentioned with the aloholism regards it as an illness. I bet he thinks of himself as a failure because of it. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow.
I wonder if the family member I mentioned with the aloholism regards it as an illness. I bet he thinks of himself as a failure because of it. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow.
Left of Eden
This is my article on the religious left in Cincinnati. I'd welcome any feedback.
Here it is, at Citybeat.
Here it is, at Citybeat.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
House Church installment
It's Tuesday and House Church is here (or at least I am here at HC). I'm live blogging again which helps me focus on what's happening.
"My goal is to raise the bar every time we do it," says Klinefelter, of his Via Crucis project. This is Aaron's experiential way of the cross exhibition where the stations of the cross are done by 14 different artists. There were like 7 churches and many individuals involved in this, by the way, so I'm sure Aaron will cringe as I label it "Aaron's project."
We had a lot of food here tonight, including White Castles. Eric is singing some weird song about eating a lot tonight.
Where did you see god this week?
Leslie: Called some company and was put on hold for awhile and got a very frustrated operator. "I said, god's in control and she said yes he is." (after almost getting nasty with the operator) "I came that close," she said.
Klinefelter: "I certainly noticed god on Sunday night...It was just cool to see so many diff't people come together and, in some shape or form, experiencing Christ's presence." Klinefelter related that the last person there, a fellow named Matthew, heard about the event from a friend who got an email about Via Crucis and he was going to go to a BarBQ and then he found that the people at the BarBQ were going to go to. "...these random connections...just neat...people converging. That was really cool, a god thing."
Eric said it was magic.
Patricia, a neighbor, said that her dad passed away several years ago. He taught philosophy of education, existentialism and was a deacon at his church. After he died she wondered if god really existed. Patricia saw a van hit a little girl and her dad appeared all of a sudden asking her why she was crying. He had two lawn chairs. He said, "Don't cry. She's with us." She tells us that her father said that there was nothing to fear in the Lord's hands. "He was telling me he was still alive, with god...this was strange..." She said on another evening she was laying in bed and a beam of light came in her window and Jesus Christ appeared with her dad - they passed their hands over her body. "All of a sudden I opened my eyes and I saw Christ there beside me...I could feel him taking his hand...I could feel them touching my life."
"He will embrace you if you ask him to," she said.
A new person, Maria just joined us. She was curating during Via Crucis.
Liz: Really bad about waking in the morning. "It's on the border between laughable and ridiculous." This week, she's gotten up on time every day (two days).
Picturing God's Kingdom
That's the discussion theme this week. I didn't read this time. I don't very often, so I'm seldom well prepared and make up for my lack of knowledge with my wits.
So what are the meanings behind parables and myths in the bible? Leslie said that there were some references – like salt losing its saltiness – that confused her. This made her want to read more.
Angela mentions that some biblical stories seem hard to understand because we have become so separated from the earth.
How do we pass on stories to people (children) whose lives are divorced from nature.
“The kingdom of god is like a microchip,” Angela jokes.
What are the times when you were able to convey some small part of what god is?
Angela says that she's communicated god by not mentioning god or Jesus, loaded words, she says. In stories.
Maybe (this is me speaking now) there are just a few roads to failure – that it won't work – but a multitude of ways that it can work – when it's supposed to. The “it” I'm talking about is a relationship or a project or a journey – anything that leads us to crisis.
Aaron described hermeneutics - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermeneutics -as the way to understand this stuff.
Russ says people often get caught up in the Christian affectations and need to focus on their attitude and behavior. “The congregation is very important, but when those individuals walk away they had better act as they've been taught...”
-30-
"My goal is to raise the bar every time we do it," says Klinefelter, of his Via Crucis project. This is Aaron's experiential way of the cross exhibition where the stations of the cross are done by 14 different artists. There were like 7 churches and many individuals involved in this, by the way, so I'm sure Aaron will cringe as I label it "Aaron's project."
We had a lot of food here tonight, including White Castles. Eric is singing some weird song about eating a lot tonight.
Where did you see god this week?
Leslie: Called some company and was put on hold for awhile and got a very frustrated operator. "I said, god's in control and she said yes he is." (after almost getting nasty with the operator) "I came that close," she said.
Klinefelter: "I certainly noticed god on Sunday night...It was just cool to see so many diff't people come together and, in some shape or form, experiencing Christ's presence." Klinefelter related that the last person there, a fellow named Matthew, heard about the event from a friend who got an email about Via Crucis and he was going to go to a BarBQ and then he found that the people at the BarBQ were going to go to. "...these random connections...just neat...people converging. That was really cool, a god thing."
Eric said it was magic.
Patricia, a neighbor, said that her dad passed away several years ago. He taught philosophy of education, existentialism and was a deacon at his church. After he died she wondered if god really existed. Patricia saw a van hit a little girl and her dad appeared all of a sudden asking her why she was crying. He had two lawn chairs. He said, "Don't cry. She's with us." She tells us that her father said that there was nothing to fear in the Lord's hands. "He was telling me he was still alive, with god...this was strange..." She said on another evening she was laying in bed and a beam of light came in her window and Jesus Christ appeared with her dad - they passed their hands over her body. "All of a sudden I opened my eyes and I saw Christ there beside me...I could feel him taking his hand...I could feel them touching my life."
"He will embrace you if you ask him to," she said.
A new person, Maria just joined us. She was curating during Via Crucis.
Liz: Really bad about waking in the morning. "It's on the border between laughable and ridiculous." This week, she's gotten up on time every day (two days).
Picturing God's Kingdom
That's the discussion theme this week. I didn't read this time. I don't very often, so I'm seldom well prepared and make up for my lack of knowledge with my wits.
So what are the meanings behind parables and myths in the bible? Leslie said that there were some references – like salt losing its saltiness – that confused her. This made her want to read more.
Angela mentions that some biblical stories seem hard to understand because we have become so separated from the earth.
How do we pass on stories to people (children) whose lives are divorced from nature.
“The kingdom of god is like a microchip,” Angela jokes.
What are the times when you were able to convey some small part of what god is?
Angela says that she's communicated god by not mentioning god or Jesus, loaded words, she says. In stories.
Maybe (this is me speaking now) there are just a few roads to failure – that it won't work – but a multitude of ways that it can work – when it's supposed to. The “it” I'm talking about is a relationship or a project or a journey – anything that leads us to crisis.
Aaron described hermeneutics - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermeneutics -as the way to understand this stuff.
Russ says people often get caught up in the Christian affectations and need to focus on their attitude and behavior. “The congregation is very important, but when those individuals walk away they had better act as they've been taught...”
-30-
Exquisite pain, minor resolution and the bag 'o' religious gear
I just got over a three day headache today. In and out it crashed like waves, exposing jagged rocks, like they talked about in the book, Misery. I woke up at three AM this morning, it was sharp then and inescapable through sleep and I wrote a bit and surfed the Net. I was able to tone down the pain around six and as I was going to sleep I wondered if I could reimagine the pain and choose the way my brain interpreted the signals from my straining blood vessels. Could I choose to believe it was pleasure? If I did, would it become that? Like a cool breeze passing over my face instead of a slow electric draw, clenching my skull? I described it, at another time as being exquisite pain. I'll let you read that if you ask.
Minor resolution
An important phone call came today from the person I conflicted with last week. I wrote about it and they responded on this blog a couple of days ago. This person said they wanted, as I do, to have space but retain civility so this doesn't affect our mutual friends. I respect this person for that. We agreed to disagree.
Religious gear
I've gathered all my churchy stuff into my zipper bag - The bible, the qoran and a couple of analytical texts are all together for tonight at house church and elsewhere.
- Steve
Minor resolution
An important phone call came today from the person I conflicted with last week. I wrote about it and they responded on this blog a couple of days ago. This person said they wanted, as I do, to have space but retain civility so this doesn't affect our mutual friends. I respect this person for that. We agreed to disagree.
Religious gear
I've gathered all my churchy stuff into my zipper bag - The bible, the qoran and a couple of analytical texts are all together for tonight at house church and elsewhere.
- Steve
Bush is a shameful, terrible president
and I hope he is impeached. He deserves prison.
I heard him on the radio and it makes me sick to listen to his voice.
I just don't think this can be said too often. I just hope the movement reaches a critical mass.
I heard him on the radio and it makes me sick to listen to his voice.
I just don't think this can be said too often. I just hope the movement reaches a critical mass.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
How we felt when we saw the baby
I wanted to jump back to the day last week when we went for the sonogram:
It was a really emotional time. I spoke with Matt Murray today at St. E's and he told me that, a lot like the way we were sorta cool and collected before the wedding and then, at the event, just in awe of the mystical/emotional/amazing gravity of it all, that the birth would be the same way.
I think he's right. The sonogram made me cry and Beck, too. It was really moving to see our son's face for the first time. The ultrasound has a very scifi kind of feel, revealing the outer shape of the baby and slices of his flesh and beneath the skin. I imagined that this was the way a fourth dimensional being would see us - like a god's eye view.
Anyway, it was pretty incredible. We saw our son for the first time. The name Abby Delores doesn't work anymore, of course.
It was a really emotional time. I spoke with Matt Murray today at St. E's and he told me that, a lot like the way we were sorta cool and collected before the wedding and then, at the event, just in awe of the mystical/emotional/amazing gravity of it all, that the birth would be the same way.
I think he's right. The sonogram made me cry and Beck, too. It was really moving to see our son's face for the first time. The ultrasound has a very scifi kind of feel, revealing the outer shape of the baby and slices of his flesh and beneath the skin. I imagined that this was the way a fourth dimensional being would see us - like a god's eye view.
Anyway, it was pretty incredible. We saw our son for the first time. The name Abby Delores doesn't work anymore, of course.
The past week and the next
Yeah, I'm really tired right now, so my titles aren't that creative. I'll work on it in the near future.
Today is Sunday and I'm at the Brown House. It's sunny, but kinda cold. The house is alive with people. That's really cool to see.
The SPJ Convention
The Society of Professional Journalists annual Region Four Convention was yesterday. Beck and I went to the reception on Friday night at the Freedom Center. It was our first time there and it was very nice. I've heard a bit of criticism about it and, while it was video heavy, I did learn some things. We just checked it out as a sideline to our event, so I'd like to make a day of it and really explore their exhibits. I was glad to see that the Center connected the struggle of blacks to queer liberation and women's lib.
Saturday was the convention. I moderated a panel on Media Reform and Indie Media. It went pretty well. Always get speakers that are more competant than yourself, is my motto. John Fox, editor of Citybeat, George Nemeth of Brewed Fresh Daily and Sara Mahle from Media Bridges spoke on my panel.
Beck attended too and said she thought the discussion was really good. We attended a presentation by a writer from the New York Times on covering disasters, too. It was pretty moving - photos and stories from the first few days in post-Katrina New Orleans.
Kari Wethington and Andrew Warner did some podcasting for SPJ. I'll post the links when they're up.
Willing to put up with less these days
I don't want to say that we have less patience because of the baby coming, but we certainly have a lower bullshit threshold.
We're trying to use barriers wisely and kindly against people with recurring issues who are not addressing their problems. I had an argument with a friend that made me feel really bad a couple of days ago and I realized that it's just not where I want to be; not for myself, Becky or the baby. So I'm going to cool it with a couple of relationships that have been earmarked with anger. I just don't have the time for people who aren't willing to work on their issues.
Have you ever felt like you were in some kind of Groundhog Day (the movie) cycle with someone where it kept going sour on a cyclical basis? That's how I've felt.
Speeders
The bastards speeding down my street piss me off more and more the closer I get to having my baby breathe the air. Yeah, I need to find a solution to these issues. The city responded quickly to my call a couple of weeks ago and put speed limit signs on the street. It's a start.
The new week
Here's some stuff I need to complete this week:
Financial Record roundup and year-end books
Taxes
Getting rid of the blue couch (wanna buy it?)
Finishing the drywall repair in the hallway
Laying down the stone in the backyard
Work on the dining guide stories
That's all for now. Steve.
Today is Sunday and I'm at the Brown House. It's sunny, but kinda cold. The house is alive with people. That's really cool to see.
The SPJ Convention
The Society of Professional Journalists annual Region Four Convention was yesterday. Beck and I went to the reception on Friday night at the Freedom Center. It was our first time there and it was very nice. I've heard a bit of criticism about it and, while it was video heavy, I did learn some things. We just checked it out as a sideline to our event, so I'd like to make a day of it and really explore their exhibits. I was glad to see that the Center connected the struggle of blacks to queer liberation and women's lib.
Saturday was the convention. I moderated a panel on Media Reform and Indie Media. It went pretty well. Always get speakers that are more competant than yourself, is my motto. John Fox, editor of Citybeat, George Nemeth of Brewed Fresh Daily and Sara Mahle from Media Bridges spoke on my panel.
Beck attended too and said she thought the discussion was really good. We attended a presentation by a writer from the New York Times on covering disasters, too. It was pretty moving - photos and stories from the first few days in post-Katrina New Orleans.
Kari Wethington and Andrew Warner did some podcasting for SPJ. I'll post the links when they're up.
Willing to put up with less these days
I don't want to say that we have less patience because of the baby coming, but we certainly have a lower bullshit threshold.
We're trying to use barriers wisely and kindly against people with recurring issues who are not addressing their problems. I had an argument with a friend that made me feel really bad a couple of days ago and I realized that it's just not where I want to be; not for myself, Becky or the baby. So I'm going to cool it with a couple of relationships that have been earmarked with anger. I just don't have the time for people who aren't willing to work on their issues.
Have you ever felt like you were in some kind of Groundhog Day (the movie) cycle with someone where it kept going sour on a cyclical basis? That's how I've felt.
Speeders
The bastards speeding down my street piss me off more and more the closer I get to having my baby breathe the air. Yeah, I need to find a solution to these issues. The city responded quickly to my call a couple of weeks ago and put speed limit signs on the street. It's a start.
The new week
Here's some stuff I need to complete this week:
Financial Record roundup and year-end books
Taxes
Getting rid of the blue couch (wanna buy it?)
Finishing the drywall repair in the hallway
Laying down the stone in the backyard
Work on the dining guide stories
That's all for now. Steve.
Friday, April 07, 2006
It's a boy.
So the name Abby Delores is scrapped. That's ok. The important thing is that it's healthy and looks cute. He's presently 1 lb, 10 oz and we're very excited.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Gospel of Judas
NPR reports that National Geographic has discovered a gospel of Judas.
Read the report here - it's very interesting.
This was discovered in '83 and is going to be released soon. I'd be interested to know what people think about it and other Apocrypha. I'm curious to read it. I'm always more anxious to see the suppressed stuff than the mainstream, of course.
My story on the Religious Left, tentatively entitled "Left of Eden" comes out next week in Citybeat, btw.
Read the report here - it's very interesting.
This was discovered in '83 and is going to be released soon. I'd be interested to know what people think about it and other Apocrypha. I'm curious to read it. I'm always more anxious to see the suppressed stuff than the mainstream, of course.
My story on the Religious Left, tentatively entitled "Left of Eden" comes out next week in Citybeat, btw.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I need vegetables ~ Ghosts in the Machine
Leafy green ones would do really well for me.
My cuticles are red and broken because I've neglected to eat my daily allotment over the past week. I went to Findlay Market today to get some and wouldn't you know they had no (bananas...yes we have no bananas today) or other fruit or vegetables! Arrgh! Kenny Havens told me that, despite the fact that the market is open seven days, you still have only the weekends - Friday through Sunday.
Also, Becky thinks we have a ghost. I know we have the dog, Ghost, but she means a spectre.
We've been hearing loud, clear footsteps in the house at 6am, midnight and then 1:30 am – it sounds like cloppity-clop – like a person in loose shoes – and it's not our tenant.
I'm still seeking material explanations on this and will keep you posted.
I also made my way to a Catholic supply store today – St. Francis Bookstore, I think it's called. They have a lot of stuff – Catholic gear – very inexpensive. I picked up a new Jerusalem Cross for $6.50 – you may recall that I lost mine, the one I've had for ten years or so, during me expedition to the Camp Katrina. They also had some really cool crosses for the wall. I saw some that folks around Vineyard would dig.
Beck's talking with everyone here at house church about the ghost. I think the consensus is that our new leather couch is haunted. We bought a big ass leather couch – hunter green and over stuffed. So thick it blocks my wifi connection! This replaces the wool sectional/hair magnet we've had for some time. If you've had the misfortune of sleeping on this blue wool retro piece, you'll understand when I say that we were ready for something more comfortable.
The blue bomber has been in my family for 35 years or so – my grandma bought it at a yard sale and had it recovered in 1972. The couch was built sometime in the 50's. Ghost slept on it for a long time and left a lot of hair to clean.
Tuesday Housechurch
Sunny day. Beautiful out and darn nice inside.
Eric said he wasn't able to make rent this month and is feeling kind of screwed by this guy her's working for. Eric says he's being payed too little and the boss is in obvious financial trouble. It sounds like he's being taken advantage of by this guy.
Eric says he's had discussions about faith with this guy and that's made it hard for him to insist on being treated better by this boss.
Folks here advised him to insist on payment before proceeding with the work relationship. That's my feeling, too.
Bill, this new Brown House resident from Oregon, is here tonight. He has hair like my neighbor Josh. Ringlets of hair. Julie introduced Bill and everybody said hi.
Our ultrasound is tomorrow morning. We'll find out if this is a she or he.
Julie's lesson
Julies says that people have said they wanted structured teachings in HC and she's got this packet on Mark that we're going over tonight.
Julie says that Mark wrote for a gentile audience and may be a source for other Gospels.
“He came in an unexpected way,” she says. “He came as a suffering servant.”
She read from another text, “Try to love the questions themselves...live the questions...perhaps you may...live into the answer.”
Christ is seen as this divine answer man, but he asked just as many questions, she says.
Julie says it's easy to become a prisoner to legalistic ways and the law.
“It's too one dimensional for Christ,” she says. “It also leaves us out of the picture, which makes us laborers instead of co-laborers with God.”
'What if you have to live into the questions?” she asks.
Lesson one was Exodus 20:8-11
This was about keeping the Sabbath holy by not working and focusing on God.
So Mark's Gospel talks about the apostles technically breaking the Sabbath by gathering food. Somebody questions this and Jesus tells them that the Sabbath was made to serve God, not for God's people to serve the Sabbath. The main idea seems to be, if you're doing good on the Sabbath, it's cool.
She says the truth of how we are supposed to act on the Sabbath has changed from the Pharisees to the time of Jesus. Jesus in this passage seems to be denying that you can do nothing on the Sabbath and that, really, you're either doing evil or good.
The theme, consensus says, is that the Sabbath is set aside to honor God.
Russ is sitting next to me. His glasses make him look like that sports announcer Harry Kari (sp?)
Becky says that maybe Jesus was saying, “Don't get caught up in the semantics of the Sabbath.”
Julie reads from Tilden Edwards, who wrote that we as a society have moved away from draconian laws that prosecuted people for going on a recreational walk. The author says that, with this needed freedom, we've also lost some valuable rhythm to our lives... “a cathedral in time.”
Leslie says her family tried to observe the Sabbath by resting. Russ says nothing was open on the Sabbath. He says one drugstore was open in his little town, but nothing was operating except th pharmacy. Russ says this made Sunday a natural day for visits with friends and relatives.
“We were dull and boring,” Leslie whispers my way.
Worshipping on Sunday morning is a time out of time, Julie says, a connection across space with others worshipping on that day and across time with the entire history (and future?) of the church.
Beck says that Sundays for us are observed (I wouldn't have said that, though I think she's right by default) – this community has influenced us to hang about, talk, chill, eat on that day and that's become a part of our regular rhythm.
Say, I realized, I could podcast this HC – would anyone like me to do that? Would that be obtrusive?
(To be read in the voice of Patti Smith, breathless and halting like in the song Rock'n'Roll Nigger: I jump in my mind to that Mexican restaurant on 24th St, midway between Mission and Florida Streets in San Francisco -- the rhythm quickens now, beats folding ito each other --- and it was night and Beck and I were there, eating much too much after that long, 23 mile ride around the peninsula , eating much too much for our bellies at that late hour, later still by the jetlag, and we didn't finish and this kid comes up asking us for what's left on our plates so properly, saying, “I don't mean to be obtrusive, but may I finish that? If you're just going to throw it away? I hope I'm not being obtrusive.” And I'd never heard it said without an “un” on the front and that just shows you how little I, fed, cared about it, compared to a squatter kid with an empty belly.
But then, I had the money to by the food and he didn't. That's why he had to worry about it and I didn't.)
Cathedral in time, Julie continues. “I think that finding a rhythm is important,” Julie says. “...whatever you're doing to honor God.”
My cuticles are red and broken because I've neglected to eat my daily allotment over the past week. I went to Findlay Market today to get some and wouldn't you know they had no (bananas...yes we have no bananas today) or other fruit or vegetables! Arrgh! Kenny Havens told me that, despite the fact that the market is open seven days, you still have only the weekends - Friday through Sunday.
Also, Becky thinks we have a ghost. I know we have the dog, Ghost, but she means a spectre.
We've been hearing loud, clear footsteps in the house at 6am, midnight and then 1:30 am – it sounds like cloppity-clop – like a person in loose shoes – and it's not our tenant.
I'm still seeking material explanations on this and will keep you posted.
I also made my way to a Catholic supply store today – St. Francis Bookstore, I think it's called. They have a lot of stuff – Catholic gear – very inexpensive. I picked up a new Jerusalem Cross for $6.50 – you may recall that I lost mine, the one I've had for ten years or so, during me expedition to the Camp Katrina. They also had some really cool crosses for the wall. I saw some that folks around Vineyard would dig.
Beck's talking with everyone here at house church about the ghost. I think the consensus is that our new leather couch is haunted. We bought a big ass leather couch – hunter green and over stuffed. So thick it blocks my wifi connection! This replaces the wool sectional/hair magnet we've had for some time. If you've had the misfortune of sleeping on this blue wool retro piece, you'll understand when I say that we were ready for something more comfortable.
The blue bomber has been in my family for 35 years or so – my grandma bought it at a yard sale and had it recovered in 1972. The couch was built sometime in the 50's. Ghost slept on it for a long time and left a lot of hair to clean.
Tuesday Housechurch
Sunny day. Beautiful out and darn nice inside.
Eric said he wasn't able to make rent this month and is feeling kind of screwed by this guy her's working for. Eric says he's being payed too little and the boss is in obvious financial trouble. It sounds like he's being taken advantage of by this guy.
Eric says he's had discussions about faith with this guy and that's made it hard for him to insist on being treated better by this boss.
Folks here advised him to insist on payment before proceeding with the work relationship. That's my feeling, too.
Bill, this new Brown House resident from Oregon, is here tonight. He has hair like my neighbor Josh. Ringlets of hair. Julie introduced Bill and everybody said hi.
Our ultrasound is tomorrow morning. We'll find out if this is a she or he.
Julie's lesson
Julies says that people have said they wanted structured teachings in HC and she's got this packet on Mark that we're going over tonight.
Julie says that Mark wrote for a gentile audience and may be a source for other Gospels.
“He came in an unexpected way,” she says. “He came as a suffering servant.”
She read from another text, “Try to love the questions themselves...live the questions...perhaps you may...live into the answer.”
Christ is seen as this divine answer man, but he asked just as many questions, she says.
Julie says it's easy to become a prisoner to legalistic ways and the law.
“It's too one dimensional for Christ,” she says. “It also leaves us out of the picture, which makes us laborers instead of co-laborers with God.”
'What if you have to live into the questions?” she asks.
Lesson one was Exodus 20:8-11
This was about keeping the Sabbath holy by not working and focusing on God.
So Mark's Gospel talks about the apostles technically breaking the Sabbath by gathering food. Somebody questions this and Jesus tells them that the Sabbath was made to serve God, not for God's people to serve the Sabbath. The main idea seems to be, if you're doing good on the Sabbath, it's cool.
She says the truth of how we are supposed to act on the Sabbath has changed from the Pharisees to the time of Jesus. Jesus in this passage seems to be denying that you can do nothing on the Sabbath and that, really, you're either doing evil or good.
The theme, consensus says, is that the Sabbath is set aside to honor God.
Russ is sitting next to me. His glasses make him look like that sports announcer Harry Kari (sp?)
Becky says that maybe Jesus was saying, “Don't get caught up in the semantics of the Sabbath.”
Julie reads from Tilden Edwards, who wrote that we as a society have moved away from draconian laws that prosecuted people for going on a recreational walk. The author says that, with this needed freedom, we've also lost some valuable rhythm to our lives... “a cathedral in time.”
Leslie says her family tried to observe the Sabbath by resting. Russ says nothing was open on the Sabbath. He says one drugstore was open in his little town, but nothing was operating except th pharmacy. Russ says this made Sunday a natural day for visits with friends and relatives.
“We were dull and boring,” Leslie whispers my way.
Worshipping on Sunday morning is a time out of time, Julie says, a connection across space with others worshipping on that day and across time with the entire history (and future?) of the church.
Beck says that Sundays for us are observed (I wouldn't have said that, though I think she's right by default) – this community has influenced us to hang about, talk, chill, eat on that day and that's become a part of our regular rhythm.
Say, I realized, I could podcast this HC – would anyone like me to do that? Would that be obtrusive?
(To be read in the voice of Patti Smith, breathless and halting like in the song Rock'n'Roll Nigger: I jump in my mind to that Mexican restaurant on 24th St, midway between Mission and Florida Streets in San Francisco -- the rhythm quickens now, beats folding ito each other --- and it was night and Beck and I were there, eating much too much after that long, 23 mile ride around the peninsula , eating much too much for our bellies at that late hour, later still by the jetlag, and we didn't finish and this kid comes up asking us for what's left on our plates so properly, saying, “I don't mean to be obtrusive, but may I finish that? If you're just going to throw it away? I hope I'm not being obtrusive.” And I'd never heard it said without an “un” on the front and that just shows you how little I, fed, cared about it, compared to a squatter kid with an empty belly.
But then, I had the money to by the food and he didn't. That's why he had to worry about it and I didn't.)
Cathedral in time, Julie continues. “I think that finding a rhythm is important,” Julie says. “...whatever you're doing to honor God.”
Monday, April 03, 2006
Back in Business
My old beater laptop rides again. My secondary system, a 366mhz P2 IBM Thinkpad - which is very well built system that I highly recommend - lost contact with the world a couple of weeks ago when the computer's wifi card died.
I purchased another - a D-Link (it was cheap, but I hate this company) - and the new card wouldn't work. I decided to do a complete wipe of the drive to see if that was then problem, downloaded a pirate copy of Windows 98 from Bittorrent and reinstalled. Still no luck with the wifi card.
It turns out that the folks at D-Link branded this card as being compatible with Win 98 - and it is, but only if you go through a rather extreme proceedure in MS DOS mode that involves renaming a root file. Shysters is my name for the D-Link people. It works really well now, but only if you're a geek willing to put in the time. And, while I feel a sense of accomplishment about it, there's no excuse for that company's shoddy excuse for a Win 98 driver.
I also downloaded Open Office, Firefox and Audacity, which are all freeware and open source. If I knew how to make Linux work with this wifi card I'd be all over it. I might even swap my trusty mac osx desktop for Linux one day.
I purchased another - a D-Link (it was cheap, but I hate this company) - and the new card wouldn't work. I decided to do a complete wipe of the drive to see if that was then problem, downloaded a pirate copy of Windows 98 from Bittorrent and reinstalled. Still no luck with the wifi card.
It turns out that the folks at D-Link branded this card as being compatible with Win 98 - and it is, but only if you go through a rather extreme proceedure in MS DOS mode that involves renaming a root file. Shysters is my name for the D-Link people. It works really well now, but only if you're a geek willing to put in the time. And, while I feel a sense of accomplishment about it, there's no excuse for that company's shoddy excuse for a Win 98 driver.
I also downloaded Open Office, Firefox and Audacity, which are all freeware and open source. If I knew how to make Linux work with this wifi card I'd be all over it. I might even swap my trusty mac osx desktop for Linux one day.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The next computer?
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Sunday morning out of focus
I'm getting over a brief flu thing today. The stuff I'm coughing up is clear now. It was yellow yesterday.
Someone named Mary Kate was doing the sermon at church today, though I was not really able to focus because I still feel a bit bad - nervous energy from the caffine in the Excedrin I needed to quell the headache, a little nauseous.
She was talking about hands - what Jesus did with his, what we're doing with ours. I'll link to someone who has a clearer description if I see it online.
I have a lot of work to do today on the Best of stuff. It's due tomorrow.
Someone named Mary Kate was doing the sermon at church today, though I was not really able to focus because I still feel a bit bad - nervous energy from the caffine in the Excedrin I needed to quell the headache, a little nauseous.
She was talking about hands - what Jesus did with his, what we're doing with ours. I'll link to someone who has a clearer description if I see it online.
I have a lot of work to do today on the Best of stuff. It's due tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Tuesday night house church
The Klinefelters are here tonight. It's a nice time to be around people we love.
Chad and the Canipe Family are, obviously, a focus tonight. This is also a very loose session; Eric has questioned Colin Powell's pronunciation of his first name being, as he says, that his last name sounds like "Bowel." So loose that we're talking about dog names - Cory's name used to be Marquette and she came with the house. So loose that I'm blogging, live.
Other comments include Angela talking about the "Quick Wok" restaurant on "Long Drive" and Tracy wanting to end her sentences with the word "semi-colon" instead of "period" - more on this below.
"I want to give us an opportunity to process a bit...and share some stories," Thurman says.
Chad's Podcast
This is our conversational centerpiece tonight. It's his first and (only?) audio blog entry about the church, Poema, he and Renee intended to start.
Here it is.
He and Renee moved here, to Norwood, to build Poema.
In the podcast, Chad said that he wanted a dialogue and that the journey of faith he wanted to walk in was one that begins with questions. And, boy, has this community got 'em tonight.
Good news, btw, Palmer is doing better - check Kevin's site for stuff about him.
Poema, Chad says in the podcast, means masterpiece or workmanship - and "...that's what we're about, being God's masterpiece, his work of art."
Chad asked listeners suspend any disbelief and consider the idea that "...God created. He is the master artist...he has a plan and a purpose for your life..."
Chad said that our purpose was deemed and intended by our creator and that we should try to discern what that purpose is(I'm extrapolating a bit - correct me if you think I'm off on this one.)
Chad spoke about disasters, Like Hurricane Katrina, which had just happened at the time he recorded this. He said no matter what happens in our lives, God can use even the bad things that happen - tragedies - for his purpose and make something good out of it. This kind of foretold the situation we are in now.
"Thanks for listening. It looks like I've gone a bit longer than I expected."
Sara Klinefelter said, "Here is Chad comforting us..."
Everyone felt that the recording spoke to them.
"What part of Chad's mission are we called to carry forth?" Kevin asked.
Julie Gross spoke about how open Chad was to discussing his faith ecumenically, such as with a Hindu friend at Fifth Third.
"It's ordinary and extraordinary at the same time," she said. "I think that part of his vision is something to carry forward."
Aaron said that Chad was visionary and died before his ideas came to pass - that being the vision for the city. "You don't hear that at seminary," Klinefelter said. "Chad's thing was being known as the best neighbors you could have."
"I sense that that nugget is something that's going to be coming," Aaron said. "It seemed very significant."
Angela brought up the communion of saints. "Chad talked about email him or call him," she said. "And you still can."
For myself, I was struck by the depth and detail of planning Chad had done. You have to understand how meek and understated Chad was in person. I had no idea about this at the time.
Along the lines of the communion thing Angela mentioned, that thing that happened the day he died seemed significant. Our answering machine started playing all of its messages just before 7 am, the morning and approximate time that Chad died. I also felt strongly that Chad would die a week before it happened. The podcast is maybe the message (recorded) that he wanted us to listen to(?}
Kevin said that he and Tracy as well as the Canipe family also felt that Chad was going to die several days before it happened.
Klinefelter (Aaron) said he had an experience on Thursday (the day before Chad died) and that he understands the idea of speaking with the saints better. That the plane between this world and the next is much thinner that we often believe. I gather that the communion of saints stuff is verboten or taboo or something in evangelical faiths(?)
Klinefelter said he went to the hospital on Thursday night and felt very discouraged, disconnected and defeated. "It kept going down, down, down," he said. He said he listened to scripture on the way to the hospital to seek comfort. He just wanted God to say something. "The sense of...deep and abiding peace (the Canipe family) had...I received so much form them in terms of encouragement...I felt like other people in our community needed to know that."
Klinefelter came to the Brown House looking to share..."after I left here that night, driving home, I had a very real sense that I was talking to Chad. I don't even know how to explain it. Not that he was there with me..."
Aaron said he communicated to Chad,"don't be discouraged. God's got it."
It was like I was having a conversation with chad and it was like he was saying, 'Thanks for saying that, but I've got to go...I can't fight in this physical body, I've got to go.' I remember driving home thinking he's not going to survive...but that he was okay with that...it's time to go and it's like just letting me know, it's okay."
Tracy said he died, "...very gracefully, very quickly and well...even the position he was laying...was like he was laying back, watching a football game, was peaceful."
"Just as a comfort to you all, he did really well," Tracy said. "I don't think he suffered."
Kevin said he thought Chad could hear things even though he was in a medically inuced coma, and he was spoken to by many for the days he was in the hospital.
Julie said this means the Kingdom is not far away, period. (Tracy would have said ...far away, semicolon." That's the context of the joke from earlier.)
"Those who believe in me will never die (experience death)," Kevin quoted.
"I have this kind of working theory...somewhat based in hope...that there is this kind of seemless time when you're entering...this transitional time where you're literally being greeted by people who are going to help you...(and yet you're still connected to the material world)," Kevin said.
Sara said when her mom died she had this amazing understanding of the term, "Born Again." That she had this literal vision of her mom being born again, going through the birth canal. "It was like labor," Sara said. "She kept saying she had to go."
She kept crying out, 'God help me.'" Sara said. "I just had never felt the presence of God so full."
"You just have this amazing new life in a different form," she said. "I've never thought of born again Christian the same way again...now it's even more real."
Sara said she prayed, "God breathe life into Chad. Breathe life into him again...that's all I could pray and it was like a joyous song...and that God was going to breathe life into Chad...and whatever that would look like...I really had the faith that God was breathing life into him like he had never known...he was at the feet of God...can you just imagine?"
Aaron said he felt a piece of himself, and the community was gone with Chad. "That's not like a bad thing, as in 'Woe is me,' it's just the reality of it...he made up a part of who I am and when he leaves this place to the other side of the veil, theres a piece of me that lacks..."
Thurman said," When you said that, I thought, 'A piece of me went with Chad and Chad is at the feet of God.'"
I don't feel so much closer to Chad as I do closer to God," Kevin said. "When (some of Kevin's friends went to India) I felt like part of me was in India."
"This was a tragedy but now a lot of people are reexamining their lives," Kevin said. "...I'm very comfortable dying now in a way I wasn't before this."
"We're a fairly young community," Aaron said. "...death is a part of life. It's like we know now of a whole other country that we didn't know of before...I can say, with confidence that we, as a community, can get around in that country."
Aaron compared this to orienteering. Julie compared this to becoming fluent in the language of heaven. Becky spoke of her uncle Stewart's death and how connected she felt to him.
"We've been talking for the past few weeks," Aaron said, "We've been talking about healing and...what happened? ...I see what happened to Chad as part of the same conversation as to what does healing look like...his healing came as going beyond the veil...I think what we've experienced has been healing for us as a community in a way that Chad healing physically (could not have)...You always lose something when you got to war you always gain something when you go to war...it has hurt like hell...but that has also brought about healing (to the community)."
Aaron said that he thinks something is happening, very deep down in our community, that Chad's death won for us.
"If we continue to talk out and feel this...we're going to know him as we never have," Sara said. "...if we keep opening it up and feeling, then we can keep growing."
There was much more laughter than crying tonight. And, as Chad said, God is near.
Chad and the Canipe Family are, obviously, a focus tonight. This is also a very loose session; Eric has questioned Colin Powell's pronunciation of his first name being, as he says, that his last name sounds like "Bowel." So loose that we're talking about dog names - Cory's name used to be Marquette and she came with the house. So loose that I'm blogging, live.
Other comments include Angela talking about the "Quick Wok" restaurant on "Long Drive" and Tracy wanting to end her sentences with the word "semi-colon" instead of "period" - more on this below.
"I want to give us an opportunity to process a bit...and share some stories," Thurman says.
Chad's Podcast
This is our conversational centerpiece tonight. It's his first and (only?) audio blog entry about the church, Poema, he and Renee intended to start.
Here it is.
He and Renee moved here, to Norwood, to build Poema.
In the podcast, Chad said that he wanted a dialogue and that the journey of faith he wanted to walk in was one that begins with questions. And, boy, has this community got 'em tonight.
Good news, btw, Palmer is doing better - check Kevin's site for stuff about him.
Poema, Chad says in the podcast, means masterpiece or workmanship - and "...that's what we're about, being God's masterpiece, his work of art."
Chad asked listeners suspend any disbelief and consider the idea that "...God created. He is the master artist...he has a plan and a purpose for your life..."
Chad said that our purpose was deemed and intended by our creator and that we should try to discern what that purpose is(I'm extrapolating a bit - correct me if you think I'm off on this one.)
Chad spoke about disasters, Like Hurricane Katrina, which had just happened at the time he recorded this. He said no matter what happens in our lives, God can use even the bad things that happen - tragedies - for his purpose and make something good out of it. This kind of foretold the situation we are in now.
"Thanks for listening. It looks like I've gone a bit longer than I expected."
Sara Klinefelter said, "Here is Chad comforting us..."
Everyone felt that the recording spoke to them.
"What part of Chad's mission are we called to carry forth?" Kevin asked.
Julie Gross spoke about how open Chad was to discussing his faith ecumenically, such as with a Hindu friend at Fifth Third.
"It's ordinary and extraordinary at the same time," she said. "I think that part of his vision is something to carry forward."
Aaron said that Chad was visionary and died before his ideas came to pass - that being the vision for the city. "You don't hear that at seminary," Klinefelter said. "Chad's thing was being known as the best neighbors you could have."
"I sense that that nugget is something that's going to be coming," Aaron said. "It seemed very significant."
Angela brought up the communion of saints. "Chad talked about email him or call him," she said. "And you still can."
For myself, I was struck by the depth and detail of planning Chad had done. You have to understand how meek and understated Chad was in person. I had no idea about this at the time.
Along the lines of the communion thing Angela mentioned, that thing that happened the day he died seemed significant. Our answering machine started playing all of its messages just before 7 am, the morning and approximate time that Chad died. I also felt strongly that Chad would die a week before it happened. The podcast is maybe the message (recorded) that he wanted us to listen to(?}
Kevin said that he and Tracy as well as the Canipe family also felt that Chad was going to die several days before it happened.
Klinefelter (Aaron) said he had an experience on Thursday (the day before Chad died) and that he understands the idea of speaking with the saints better. That the plane between this world and the next is much thinner that we often believe. I gather that the communion of saints stuff is verboten or taboo or something in evangelical faiths(?)
Klinefelter said he went to the hospital on Thursday night and felt very discouraged, disconnected and defeated. "It kept going down, down, down," he said. He said he listened to scripture on the way to the hospital to seek comfort. He just wanted God to say something. "The sense of...deep and abiding peace (the Canipe family) had...I received so much form them in terms of encouragement...I felt like other people in our community needed to know that."
Klinefelter came to the Brown House looking to share..."after I left here that night, driving home, I had a very real sense that I was talking to Chad. I don't even know how to explain it. Not that he was there with me..."
Aaron said he communicated to Chad,"don't be discouraged. God's got it."
It was like I was having a conversation with chad and it was like he was saying, 'Thanks for saying that, but I've got to go...I can't fight in this physical body, I've got to go.' I remember driving home thinking he's not going to survive...but that he was okay with that...it's time to go and it's like just letting me know, it's okay."
Tracy said he died, "...very gracefully, very quickly and well...even the position he was laying...was like he was laying back, watching a football game, was peaceful."
"Just as a comfort to you all, he did really well," Tracy said. "I don't think he suffered."
Kevin said he thought Chad could hear things even though he was in a medically inuced coma, and he was spoken to by many for the days he was in the hospital.
Julie said this means the Kingdom is not far away, period. (Tracy would have said ...far away, semicolon." That's the context of the joke from earlier.)
"Those who believe in me will never die (experience death)," Kevin quoted.
"I have this kind of working theory...somewhat based in hope...that there is this kind of seemless time when you're entering...this transitional time where you're literally being greeted by people who are going to help you...(and yet you're still connected to the material world)," Kevin said.
Sara said when her mom died she had this amazing understanding of the term, "Born Again." That she had this literal vision of her mom being born again, going through the birth canal. "It was like labor," Sara said. "She kept saying she had to go."
She kept crying out, 'God help me.'" Sara said. "I just had never felt the presence of God so full."
"You just have this amazing new life in a different form," she said. "I've never thought of born again Christian the same way again...now it's even more real."
Sara said she prayed, "God breathe life into Chad. Breathe life into him again...that's all I could pray and it was like a joyous song...and that God was going to breathe life into Chad...and whatever that would look like...I really had the faith that God was breathing life into him like he had never known...he was at the feet of God...can you just imagine?"
Aaron said he felt a piece of himself, and the community was gone with Chad. "That's not like a bad thing, as in 'Woe is me,' it's just the reality of it...he made up a part of who I am and when he leaves this place to the other side of the veil, theres a piece of me that lacks..."
Thurman said," When you said that, I thought, 'A piece of me went with Chad and Chad is at the feet of God.'"
I don't feel so much closer to Chad as I do closer to God," Kevin said. "When (some of Kevin's friends went to India) I felt like part of me was in India."
"This was a tragedy but now a lot of people are reexamining their lives," Kevin said. "...I'm very comfortable dying now in a way I wasn't before this."
"We're a fairly young community," Aaron said. "...death is a part of life. It's like we know now of a whole other country that we didn't know of before...I can say, with confidence that we, as a community, can get around in that country."
Aaron compared this to orienteering. Julie compared this to becoming fluent in the language of heaven. Becky spoke of her uncle Stewart's death and how connected she felt to him.
"We've been talking for the past few weeks," Aaron said, "We've been talking about healing and...what happened? ...I see what happened to Chad as part of the same conversation as to what does healing look like...his healing came as going beyond the veil...I think what we've experienced has been healing for us as a community in a way that Chad healing physically (could not have)...You always lose something when you got to war you always gain something when you go to war...it has hurt like hell...but that has also brought about healing (to the community)."
Aaron said that he thinks something is happening, very deep down in our community, that Chad's death won for us.
"If we continue to talk out and feel this...we're going to know him as we never have," Sara said. "...if we keep opening it up and feeling, then we can keep growing."
There was much more laughter than crying tonight. And, as Chad said, God is near.
As a child
That's the name of an album by my friend, Eric Falstrom. Eric has a hell of a sound and, I thought today, is on target with this album title, naming what is really a primal drive.
I was taliking to Kevin and Tracy Rains daughter, Zoe, today about just this thing: As a child, you're in a hurry to grow up and, when you grow up, if you have any sense, you spend your whole time trying to be a kid again - or wishing you were.
Zoe said she cried today at school about Chad. I think a lot of people did.
I was taliking to Kevin and Tracy Rains daughter, Zoe, today about just this thing: As a child, you're in a hurry to grow up and, when you grow up, if you have any sense, you spend your whole time trying to be a kid again - or wishing you were.
Zoe said she cried today at school about Chad. I think a lot of people did.
Awake before anyone else
Or at least I think I am.
It was 4 in the morning when I woke up today. I guess I can make it to morning prayers today.
So I wake up this early - I haven't slept through the night in half a year - because of this machine I use, the CPAP - basically an air compressor that keeps my airway from closing up at night. The thing dries me out since I don't use the humidifier on it. I choose not to use it because if I did I would have to wash the breathing assembly (a little barrel with two soft nozzles that fit into my nose) and the hose with antibacterial soap every day. This would be to avoid things like Legionnaire's Disease which thrive in moist environments. I;m just not disciplined enough to do this , so I live with the dryness.
This limitation is small compared to the gain; I've had only five hours of sleep and yet I feel more rested than I did before when my sleep apnea disrupted my sleep.
Beck and I have this joke, "Thanks, CPAP, it's incredible," making fun of the awful video the local clinic uses to pimp this thing. Ask us about it sometime.
Chad's viewing was last night. I was glad to be able to go, even though I normally avoid these things. I told Beck this was the first one I've gone to where it hasn't felt like an obligation. I'm glad it wasn't in a funeral home. Those places feel like dollhouses.
Ghost is awake with me. Chewing on an old water bottle.
So, in a last gasp of early morning indulgence, here's what I'd like to get done today. (I have no printer now as mine recently konked out - anybody want to sell a used Mac printer?)
- email Julie Boehm about the poverty documentary project
- Finish up the top ten list stuff for John Fox, my editor on the Best of Cincinnati project
- get the books out from under the sofa
- make arrangements to borrow a van and add a bookcase to the living room
- clear off space on my computer - I have less than a gig free on an 80 gig system!
- clean the bathroom
- make arrangements to find a new printer
- email Angela with the writers project info
- add my blog info to the signature on my email
- clean the backyard and measure for pavers - we're paving the little back yard we have.
- do four loads of laundry
...that's this day's peek into the glamorous life of a freelance writer.
-Steve
It was 4 in the morning when I woke up today. I guess I can make it to morning prayers today.
So I wake up this early - I haven't slept through the night in half a year - because of this machine I use, the CPAP - basically an air compressor that keeps my airway from closing up at night. The thing dries me out since I don't use the humidifier on it. I choose not to use it because if I did I would have to wash the breathing assembly (a little barrel with two soft nozzles that fit into my nose) and the hose with antibacterial soap every day. This would be to avoid things like Legionnaire's Disease which thrive in moist environments. I;m just not disciplined enough to do this , so I live with the dryness.
This limitation is small compared to the gain; I've had only five hours of sleep and yet I feel more rested than I did before when my sleep apnea disrupted my sleep.
Beck and I have this joke, "Thanks, CPAP, it's incredible," making fun of the awful video the local clinic uses to pimp this thing. Ask us about it sometime.
Chad's viewing was last night. I was glad to be able to go, even though I normally avoid these things. I told Beck this was the first one I've gone to where it hasn't felt like an obligation. I'm glad it wasn't in a funeral home. Those places feel like dollhouses.
Ghost is awake with me. Chewing on an old water bottle.
So, in a last gasp of early morning indulgence, here's what I'd like to get done today. (I have no printer now as mine recently konked out - anybody want to sell a used Mac printer?)
- email Julie Boehm about the poverty documentary project
- Finish up the top ten list stuff for John Fox, my editor on the Best of Cincinnati project
- get the books out from under the sofa
- make arrangements to borrow a van and add a bookcase to the living room
- clear off space on my computer - I have less than a gig free on an 80 gig system!
- clean the bathroom
- make arrangements to find a new printer
- email Angela with the writers project info
- add my blog info to the signature on my email
- clean the backyard and measure for pavers - we're paving the little back yard we have.
- do four loads of laundry
...that's this day's peek into the glamorous life of a freelance writer.
-Steve
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Child Rearing and Chad's Funeral
That's where my mind has been for the past 24 hours.
We visited Molly yesterday at the Kenton County Detention Center, a real jewel of the American justice system, I hear - not.
She was in good spirits and we got a long visit with her yesterday. Beck and I have confidence that she'll make it and stay sober this time.
After visiting Molly we bought something like six pounds of spinich for $2 from Findlay Market. I highly recommend you check out this urban farmers market. The prices are so low I think we could buy product and resell it here in Norwood at profit and still undercut the grocery significantly.
After that we had so much spinich, we needed to give some away and we went to the red building and gave some to, among others, Krystal Dawson. Brandon is away working with Over the Rhine in New Zealand and she's been alone with Avian. Anyway, she asked us to dinner.
At dinner we spoke with Krystal about their parenting method, which we didn't know much about before last night. It turns out they are focusing their parenting on trying to raise avian to respect authority that acts out of love, not out of fear. (these are my words, not theirs, and my very limited understanding of this method, called Adlerian Psychology or the Positive Parenting menthod) This is a method to create a child that is neurosis free, and has only egalitarian relationships. I'll blog on this more later...
So anyway, we had a lovely evening with Krystal and Avian and had a really neat conversation about this stuff. Beck and I talked a lot about how we might raise our midget.
Today - this morning - was Chad's funeral. It was a beautiful service and a lot of folks stood up to talk about his life. I particularly liked Chad's dad's story of how, when Chad was a kid, he got stuck with the dog in an icy garage and scrawled "help" on the garage door window.
We're at the Brown House now, hanging with Tracey, Jeremy, Sandy Brock and a few other folks.
I'm still working on the Best of Cincinnati text.
More later...
We visited Molly yesterday at the Kenton County Detention Center, a real jewel of the American justice system, I hear - not.
She was in good spirits and we got a long visit with her yesterday. Beck and I have confidence that she'll make it and stay sober this time.
After visiting Molly we bought something like six pounds of spinich for $2 from Findlay Market. I highly recommend you check out this urban farmers market. The prices are so low I think we could buy product and resell it here in Norwood at profit and still undercut the grocery significantly.
After that we had so much spinich, we needed to give some away and we went to the red building and gave some to, among others, Krystal Dawson. Brandon is away working with Over the Rhine in New Zealand and she's been alone with Avian. Anyway, she asked us to dinner.
At dinner we spoke with Krystal about their parenting method, which we didn't know much about before last night. It turns out they are focusing their parenting on trying to raise avian to respect authority that acts out of love, not out of fear. (these are my words, not theirs, and my very limited understanding of this method, called Adlerian Psychology or the Positive Parenting menthod) This is a method to create a child that is neurosis free, and has only egalitarian relationships. I'll blog on this more later...
So anyway, we had a lovely evening with Krystal and Avian and had a really neat conversation about this stuff. Beck and I talked a lot about how we might raise our midget.
Today - this morning - was Chad's funeral. It was a beautiful service and a lot of folks stood up to talk about his life. I particularly liked Chad's dad's story of how, when Chad was a kid, he got stuck with the dog in an icy garage and scrawled "help" on the garage door window.
We're at the Brown House now, hanging with Tracey, Jeremy, Sandy Brock and a few other folks.
I'm still working on the Best of Cincinnati text.
More later...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Past tenses and tensions
I woke up this morning with a headache as my wife predicted.
It isn't the skullsplitter variety - a description that never fails to make Becky wince - it's just a simple tension headache caused by a shot of Jagermeister. "It's just one drink," I told her. And, of course, she was right. One was enough.
and in this episode of "This Old Anarchist"
I think I am begining to understand why the "obey" thing is worked into the common wedding vows. It wasn't in our vows, but that's beside the point. It doesn't have to mean some sort of sick, psuedo-parental thing where spouses act out their respective neurosis (what's the plural here?) on one another - it can just mean, "Listen and try to respect what your spouse has to say before having the kneejerk response to fight them on stuff. They may have a damn good reason to say whetever they're saying."
So wow, how 'bout that.
The Big Chill
Our friend, Chad Canipe, died on Friday, March 9. He left behind two sons - ages seven and three (Colin and Aidan - I think Aidan is three) and a wife, Rene. There's a memorial site being developed at http://www.CanipeMemorial.com. I'm sure they'll be accepting donations for the family at the site and I can attest, if they do, it's for a good cause: to support the grieving family of a kind and very decent man.
I still am having a difficult time accepting that he's gone and, paradoxically, am finding my memories of Chad to be fleeting. I can recall events and conversations, which I'll relate later in this letter, but not his voice or face all that clearly. Just a tinge of his soft, slightly raspy way of speaking is left and just a smile or so remains in my memory. I can't recall how he frowned (perhaps this speaks well of him) or what his serious look looked like.
There was a radio show I heard once that described the reactions to death in other cultures and they spoke of a particular (African?) culture that viewed it - death - as being of two types: The recent dead, who still live in the minds of those who knew them and the long dead who are recalled only in stories or not at all.
My friend Quintina, like Chad, is among the recent dead. Quin died in - wasn't it January? - That's already begun to slip - and she, like Chad, was only about 35. It was sudden and it was a shock. My friend, Adam, who, along with his wife, Laura, played a large part in our wedding, his favorite movie was The Big Chill, which is about a group of friends who reuinite after many years at the death of one in their clique. I don't think Quin's death acted on my loose group of high school friends as it happened in the film, but then, in some ways it did. It was a geologic occurrence, shaking us to our core and forcing us to confront our own mortality.
Quin, by the way, laughed so hard at one of my stories that she threw up. John Waters said once that to him, if he could make an audience member vomit, it was like a standing ovation. Thanks, so much, Quin. I've never been paid a better compliment when telling my stories of urban decay.
Chad's death may be the first death in Vineyard Central - could that be? Maybe. That seems harder than the second will be. Kevin Rains, my friend and pastor will be doing the memorial service.
the year of magical thinking
When time has passed and those close to Chad can sit down to read it, I hope they, especially Rene, check out Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. This is a memoir by Didion - a journalist/author - on the first year of her life without her husband. Didion is an athiest, though the book is really about how we grieve. There is an engaging abstract of what one will find - a 25 minute interview by Terry Gross. Quoting the Fresh Air site, "In her memoir, Didion contemplates how the rituals of daily life are fundamentally altered when her life's companion is taken from her. Her impressions, both sharply observed and utterly reasonable, form a picture of an intelligent woman grappling with her past and future."
Memories of Chad
Chad and I were not close, but I have always known him to be a gentleman, a devoted husband and father and a loving friend. Here are just a few notes that will act as a simple buttressing of wonderful stories that will no doubt be told about Chad.
His kindness: He went out of his way to hook me up with a job at 5/3 which I decided, ultimately, not to interview for. He looked for ways he could extend a little grace into others lives.
His love of his family was alway clear to me. The way he cared for his family was always clear in his soft spoken, gentle and soothing manner towards them.
His faith: Clearly stronger than my own, he was convicted on the love and authority of God.
His damned free weights: Were a pain in the ass to move downstairs to his basement. But, they reinforced my understanding of his sense of humor. The man could take a joke and always had a laugh ready for my sarcasm.
You'll be missed, Chad.
Steve
PS: My headache is gone now. And Chad's blog keeps going, as his spokesperson and testimony of what his life was about. Once you get past his unnatural obsession with the Steelers ( ;) ), you'll find a very deep soul imprinted its mark on those pages.
It isn't the skullsplitter variety - a description that never fails to make Becky wince - it's just a simple tension headache caused by a shot of Jagermeister. "It's just one drink," I told her. And, of course, she was right. One was enough.
and in this episode of "This Old Anarchist"
I think I am begining to understand why the "obey" thing is worked into the common wedding vows. It wasn't in our vows, but that's beside the point. It doesn't have to mean some sort of sick, psuedo-parental thing where spouses act out their respective neurosis (what's the plural here?) on one another - it can just mean, "Listen and try to respect what your spouse has to say before having the kneejerk response to fight them on stuff. They may have a damn good reason to say whetever they're saying."
So wow, how 'bout that.
The Big Chill
Our friend, Chad Canipe, died on Friday, March 9. He left behind two sons - ages seven and three (Colin and Aidan - I think Aidan is three) and a wife, Rene. There's a memorial site being developed at http://www.CanipeMemorial.com. I'm sure they'll be accepting donations for the family at the site and I can attest, if they do, it's for a good cause: to support the grieving family of a kind and very decent man.
I still am having a difficult time accepting that he's gone and, paradoxically, am finding my memories of Chad to be fleeting. I can recall events and conversations, which I'll relate later in this letter, but not his voice or face all that clearly. Just a tinge of his soft, slightly raspy way of speaking is left and just a smile or so remains in my memory. I can't recall how he frowned (perhaps this speaks well of him) or what his serious look looked like.
There was a radio show I heard once that described the reactions to death in other cultures and they spoke of a particular (African?) culture that viewed it - death - as being of two types: The recent dead, who still live in the minds of those who knew them and the long dead who are recalled only in stories or not at all.
My friend Quintina, like Chad, is among the recent dead. Quin died in - wasn't it January? - That's already begun to slip - and she, like Chad, was only about 35. It was sudden and it was a shock. My friend, Adam, who, along with his wife, Laura, played a large part in our wedding, his favorite movie was The Big Chill, which is about a group of friends who reuinite after many years at the death of one in their clique. I don't think Quin's death acted on my loose group of high school friends as it happened in the film, but then, in some ways it did. It was a geologic occurrence, shaking us to our core and forcing us to confront our own mortality.
Quin, by the way, laughed so hard at one of my stories that she threw up. John Waters said once that to him, if he could make an audience member vomit, it was like a standing ovation. Thanks, so much, Quin. I've never been paid a better compliment when telling my stories of urban decay.
Chad's death may be the first death in Vineyard Central - could that be? Maybe. That seems harder than the second will be. Kevin Rains, my friend and pastor will be doing the memorial service.
the year of magical thinking
When time has passed and those close to Chad can sit down to read it, I hope they, especially Rene, check out Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. This is a memoir by Didion - a journalist/author - on the first year of her life without her husband. Didion is an athiest, though the book is really about how we grieve. There is an engaging abstract of what one will find - a 25 minute interview by Terry Gross. Quoting the Fresh Air site, "In her memoir, Didion contemplates how the rituals of daily life are fundamentally altered when her life's companion is taken from her. Her impressions, both sharply observed and utterly reasonable, form a picture of an intelligent woman grappling with her past and future."
Memories of Chad
Chad and I were not close, but I have always known him to be a gentleman, a devoted husband and father and a loving friend. Here are just a few notes that will act as a simple buttressing of wonderful stories that will no doubt be told about Chad.
His kindness: He went out of his way to hook me up with a job at 5/3 which I decided, ultimately, not to interview for. He looked for ways he could extend a little grace into others lives.
His love of his family was alway clear to me. The way he cared for his family was always clear in his soft spoken, gentle and soothing manner towards them.
His faith: Clearly stronger than my own, he was convicted on the love and authority of God.
His damned free weights: Were a pain in the ass to move downstairs to his basement. But, they reinforced my understanding of his sense of humor. The man could take a joke and always had a laugh ready for my sarcasm.
You'll be missed, Chad.
Steve
PS: My headache is gone now. And Chad's blog keeps going, as his spokesperson and testimony of what his life was about. Once you get past his unnatural obsession with the Steelers ( ;) ), you'll find a very deep soul imprinted its mark on those pages.
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