Spanking? Yes or no?

I hate the whole idea of corporal punishment, but that's exactly the low-foreheaded/cro-mag/19th century child discipline technique that I've employed.

Uly is a very strong willed child. I like that about him ... as long as it doesn't include hitting his infant sister, slapping his mom and other anti-social behavior. The problem is, these things happen a lot.

Anyway, I've found myself spanking him to try and get past these issues. The results are dubious. After I give him a warning he still goes ahead with the problem behavior. After that, I issue a time out. After the time out he acts up again and I spank. He finally relents, apologizes and stops, but the problem behavior is repeated later. Other methods do less.

Ideas?

Welcome Back

Well, hell.

You may recall that I have a new site - Gold and Lead - and that I announced last November that I was shutting this blog down and posting there. GL needs work, so I'm back.

I'm sitting here in my car in front of my house with my son Uly. He's asleep — he wouldn't go down at his normal bed time, so here we are.

A lot has happened since November. Briefly:

- We applied and were turned down for membership at Church of the Sojourners in SF. It was no ideological or personal conflict. It was a matter of space (theirs) and timing (ours).

- Our daughter Abby Delores was born Jan. 26. She's happy, healthy and growing.

- Uly is deep into the terrible twos.

- Our friend Whit died in prison on April 4.

So, that's my update. Expect more, and more real posts soon.

New Blog! New Site! New Address! Please Bookmark :)

Our blogging at blogspot is history.

All the old posts have been ported and new posts will be posted at:

www.GoldAndLead.com

See ya there!

- Steve and Becky, Uly and Abby

Post-Turkey Day VBlog

After we arrived in Berkeley it began to rain hard so we hitchhiked with another dad and son we met in downtown Berkeley to a child/parent activity center in NW Berkeley.

After we arrived in Berkeley it began to rain hard so we hitchhiked with another dad and son we met in downtown Berkeley to a child/parent activity center in NW Berkeley.

It's nice though not as nice as a Hamilton County park space. Six rooms with a small jungle gym and slide, dollhouses, a concert area and dance space. $7 for EACH of us (!)

Anyway, we had fun. The place is like Adar care where you have to stay with your kid. It necessary I guess if you're isolated by your affluence. These people don't think of themselves as wealthy but then neither do we.

There's a party --octoberfest -- tonight at sojourners we'll try to attend.

We walked (Uly in the stroller) from the activity center after 2.75 hrs of play. MpStopped at nearby chipotle for late lunch at 1:30. Uly slept after that all the way thru a 1 hr walk in the rain and while I browsed at an electric car dealership.

We're kinds soggy now and riding the train to its southern terminus to pass some time before the party.

Steve Novotni

There's apparently wifi on the bart subway system.

There's apparently wifi on the bart subway system.

It is rainy so Uly and I are riding the rails today and will do the circuit of the bay area. He's in the stroller since daddy needs a break from carrying him.

I'm writing this from my iPod. It's the handiest tool I've yet owned. A real pocket net device. Returns like mine run $170 on apple.com.

Were going very fast under the bay right now maybe 70 mph.

We're eating a bunch of grapes I bought in the Mission. Some folks on the train are drinking some bud light. Looks good.

Steve Novotni

In berkeley

There's apparently wifi on the bart subway system.

Uly and I are riding the rails today and will do the circuit of the bay area. He's in the stroller since daddy needs a break from carrying him.

I'm writing this from my iPod. It's the handiest tool I've yet owned. A real pocket net device. Returns like mine run $170 on apple.com.

Were going very fast under the bay right now maybe70 mph.

We're eating a bunch of grapes I bought in the Mission. Some folks on the train are drinking some bud light. Looks good.

Steve Novotni

Fun and challenging trip

Having a good time with a lot of challenges. We're here in SF from Oct 29 thru Nov 5.

The idea is to give Beck a baby free week before the new baby comes.

Halloween was cool. Uly met the girl of his dreams--she was dressed as the cookie monster. :)

He finally slept thru the night last night. He is doing well--not missing mom top much.

Steve Novotni

Flight delayed

Stuck in Dayton til 10am

Plane had navigation issues.

Uly is ok for now.

New flight via Chicago united air

Expect 3pm SF arrival

Steve Novotni

Sanibel day four: Phillip K Dick

I'm 120 pages deep into Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and I prefer the book to Blade Runner. I consider Blade Runner a brilliant cinematic work.

I'm spinning a bit on how my own books, many of them half or a quarter or even less begun, will emerge. I want to--must do these and I've let these strange children vacillate in the fridge for so long.

I feel that I'm at the height of my powers (so far) and if ever I was going to, it's now. Simultaneously, I have some doubts (plenty, really) on how I'll weave together a proper storyline. My imagination, verbal rendering ability and pluck are firing. My story structure needs some work. (and where to begin?)

One thing I've realized is that, no matter when I start working on a story or what good ideas I've forgotten, it's okay that some stories are lost. For every Uly, there were millions of other possible children, all wonderful, lovable and joys in their own right.

But they don't exist. He does. The same is true of artistic and literary work. The possibles could have been great, too. But only a few make it through and become Velveteen.

The constant in the works is me, and that's okay in and of itself.

We'll be passing back through Gainesville on the way home. I plan to stop there as I did in that dream that was part of the MLK story I'm developing.

David True - if you read this, thank you for giving me VALIS! (another PK Dick book and the first I had heard of this author.)

- Steve

Sanibel Island Vacation Day 2: The Island Cow, Ate Some Gator

Sanibel Island Vacation Day 1: Caught three fish!

Novotni Family VBlog Sept. 16

Uly and Dad say hi, sing a song

Columbus to Cincinnati by Bicycle

Even after sleeping an indulgent 11 hours at the Holiday Inn, my joints felt rubbery. My riding buddy, Thurman Allen, a teacher at Mason High School, was worse off--he was only able to sleep about five hours and was considering whether or not to get someone to drive him back to Cincinnati. We had come 64 miles by bike from Columbus so far, arriving at Xenia Station, the hub of Southwestern Ohio’s network of bicycle trails.

I’ve planned to complete an inter-city ride for years, but this was the first time I actually felt prepared to see it through. I trained all summer long, logging 50-60 miles a week on my bicycle in urban Cincinnati. Thurman had completed several other long rides before this one. Our bikes, Gary Fisher and Trek hybrids, were in tune and loaded with gear. We had lights, mirrors, food, water and a repair kit.

The journey began just north of Ohio State University campus. We left around 6 a.m. on Saturday and spun through Columbus’ fun network of commuter trails to Route 40 (Broad Street). Rain poured the night before our ride, so there was a graciously thick fog shielding us from the sun.

We completed 30 miles of road riding—Columbus to West Jefferson along Route 40 and then south on Route 142 to the southern leg of the Ohio to Erie Trail in London. The bike trail is a paved road that’s limited to bikes and walkers and is more than 70 miles long, stretching from Newtown to London. When it’s completed it will offer nearly 300 miles of contiguous, car-free riding from the Ohio River to Lake Erie.

Two years ago I attempted this ride by way of Georgesville, using winding rural roads and a mountain bike and I didn’t make it past London. The difference was profound. Thurman and I covered the entire distance between Columbus and London in less than four hours. Last time it took more than ten.
Drivers were really well behaved along the route we took this time. Everyone got over for us as they passed and nobody was rude. The farmland was gorgeous, lush and green. Horses, cows and llamas studied us as we passed. We stopped at a hardware store to replace a lost bolt on Thurman’s bike and later at a large power line junction to listen to the crackling of the electricity extending into the humid air.

Thurman’s legs were screaming when we pulled into London and we should have taken the warning and stopped there. I wanted to eat at a local place instead of fast food, Thurman didn’t want to bother stopping for water and the next stop was just 13 miles away, so we rode on. He was pretty beat up and dehydrated by the time we entered South Charleston, and we took a long break for lunch at one of the town’s few restaurants, The Blue Point Café. A motorcyclist in London recommended the fare—huge burgers that rival a Chipotle burrito’s mass.

The 19 miles to Xenia were pleasant and scenic with a flat, open landscape. We rolled through Cedarville and passed what was apparently a cornhole tournament. I broke three spokes and my rear wheel and it wobbled badly as we approached the midway point of our trip, but we found a bike shop in Xenia (K&G Bike Center) open late on Saturday that patched me up.

Thurman didn’t bail on Sunday morning. He told me later that he didn’t want to let me down and it was guilt that kept him on track. We started back on the trail at 9:30 a.m. and stopped in Spring Valley (74 miles into the trip) to adjust our seats. Oregonia was next at mile 86. We stopped for drinks and lunch before moving on. The nicely shaded outdoor patio is terrific at the Little River Café, a destination for cyclists and bikers.

We found a swimming hole in the Little Miami River at 91 miles into the trip and I dove in to cool off. The water was freezing, but still refreshing. The river was filled with canoes. Kids climbed an old tree hanging over the water, dropping 15 feet to make a splash below.

It was almost 3:30 p.m. and at mile 107 when we arrived in Loveland’s Nisbet Park, which is what most folks think of when you talk about the bike trail. The trail between here and Xenia has more trees than up north, so it’s always cool, even on very hot days. I was relieved to be so close to home and ready to finish. My rear was getting really sore and my hands were shaky, but I felt really alive—hyperaware and my senses keen.

Thurman and I jumped off the trail just south of there, heading through Indian Hill, Madeira and Kenwood before we reached home.

We covered a total of 124 miles on our excursion. My head reeled with images of the trip and I spent an hour or more silently studying shapes and light as I came down from the high of what we’d just done. Traveling this way impressed upon me how much energy it really takes to get from one point to another. It was incredibly rewarding and I’m looking forward to the ride to Lake Erie.

- Stephen Carter-Novotni

Renting out our West Side house

Our current tenant has found a new space that fits him better so we're renting out Coronado.

I placed a simple ad on Craigslist for it—550 a month, noting all the amenities and that we wanted to do a six month lease since we want to sell it.

I asked folks to respond with a telephone number.

Responses without phone numbers are getting deleted.

Responses in all caps get deleted.

People emailing me from professional looking email accounts (ie Joan.Crawford@mgm.com) get called back before emails from silly named accounts (ie macdaddypimp@squaredance.com)

- Steve

Just for the record...

Mullets suck. They always did.

People who wear them look like they have a nasty, phallic helmet on their heads.

I had a friend who said, "They were cool in the '80's."

No, Andy. They were not. And unfortunately, neither were you.

Steve

God's Wrath

Civil is not religious and religious is not civil. Let's end civil marriage all together and have civil unions all around.

All these people want are:
- inheritance rights
- rights to visit their partner in the hospital
- benefits

Why should they be denied these things? I don't think gay's are morally wrong. You do. Well, there's plenty of things that I think are wrong but are legal (adultery for one). If you believe gay marriage is wrong and should be discouraged by the law then so much more so with regard to adultery (far more common that practicing gays). But the conservatives won't do that. Too close to home.

Here are some thoughts on this issue from CityBeat's John Fox:

If Republicans or any lawmakers were truly serious about the institution of marriage, they'd take one or all of these actions: make divorce illegal across the country, make adultery a crime, ideally a felony, and require a test of some sort in order for people to obtain a marriage license.

If you knew going into a marriage that you'd have to study how to be a proper spouse in order to pass a licensing test (like you do to get a driver's license), that you'd never be able to get divorced and that you'd go to prison if you cheated on your spouse, well, the institution of marriage would have some pretty dedicated members. It'd be as solid as the Marine Corps.

I think this sums up my feelings on the whole issue about Katrina/Nat Disasters and God's wrath:

From Dan Savage:

Homos are marrying in California as of this week (congrats to all), and should a tornado—or an earthquake or a meteor or the Incredible Hulk—flatten, say, San Francisco's City Hall during a big gay wedding, respected leaders of the religious right will rush to cable broadcast studios to insist that the tornado/earthquake/meteor/Hulk was God's divine judgment, His righteous wrath, the Baby Jesus's latest temper tantrum, wocka wocka wocka.

"I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing," said the Rev. John Hagee, John McCain's ex-BFF, when asked about Hurricane Katrina, which struck New Orleans just before a "massive homosexual rally," aka an annual street party called "Southern Decadence," was supposed to take place in the French Quarter. "I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. And I believe that Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans."

And God got his way: By drowning little old ladies in attics in the Ninth Ward, God prevented that massive gay rally—for one year.

So how does a douchebag like Hagee explain away the tragedy in Iowa last week? A tornado struck a Boy Scout camp, killing four and injuring scores more, and the Scouts are famously antigay and antiatheist. Well, we need only to consult the same interview with Rev. Hagee to learn the answer: While all natural phenomena represent God's "permissible will," says Hagee, "it is wrong to say that every natural disaster is the result of sin... No man on Earth knows the mind of God."

See how that works? Not every natural disaster is the result of sin, you see, because sometimes natural disasters happen to us, not just to them, and when they happen to us, well, the Lord sure moves in mysterious ways, and no man on Earth knows the mind of God. But let a natural disaster strike San Francisco this week, next week, or ever again, and Rev. Hagee will be able to read the mind of God like it was a large-print edition of Highlights for Children.

Busiest time of my life

So it feels these days.

There's little time for niceties, chit chat and laziness that are some of the best parts of summer, but that's okay. We're moving right along.

First, my leg is nearly healed. I rode 10 miles yesterday in an hour (ten urban miles) and I feel good about the progress. There's a bit of wincing pain but not much. Work on the houses continues. We have a new door, new paint and this weekend I'll be sanding the floor and putting in new bath and kitchen cabinets.

Uly is well. Speaking in short sentences and happy.

Favorite Uly-isms:
Penny and all coins = "Piggy"
Breadmaker = "Mokoko"
Strawberry = "Baybabay"

He won't be a baby for long.

Steve