Here's the letter we sent to the relative with the problem:

XXXXXX,

Thank you for your letter. We appreciate the sentiments you expressed, but we believe that you miss the point, and what was the problem that evening.

When you expressed that you did not like the music playing and went into the bathroom I was already changing the station. When you came out with TP in your ears I had already changed it to a station playing XXXXX. Maybe you didn't like that either.

Regardless, your behavior was very rude. Instead of asking us, "Would you please turn the music off or change the channel?" you made snide comments, stuffed TP in your ears and then started singing at the top of your lungs.

And even these behaviors are not the point.

You acted this way because you were drunk. You were drinking in the car and brought beer into our home.

Beck and I have decided to establish that we do not want to be around you when you have had any amount of alcohol. If you've decided to drink, please call and cancel any plans with us. We don't intend to go through this again.

For the record, you may not drink in our home and we do not want to see you if you have had any alcohol.

We love you and want to maintain a relationship with you. To do this, we cannot accept your drinking in our presence. You are not your normal and pleasant self when you drink, you become a person we do not want to be around.


Steve and Becky